Next month will mark a milestone for me: my first short story in print. My story “Domestic Diva” will appear in the Spring issue of Big Pulp magazine. You’ll find it down at the bottom, in the Fantasy section. It’s a strange feeling seeing my name in the contents of a magazine like that. An enthusiastic, fist-pumping kind of strange, but strange all the same.
I don’t have a history of writing a lot of fantasy. And believe it or not, I don’t have a history of writing a lot of comedy. But this story is both of those things.
In order to read it, you’ll have to get a copy. It’ll be out in a couple weeks, but you can pre-order it on Paypal. They will have an e-book format in the future and I’ll send that link out when it becomes available.
Update: That link didn’t work, so go to this page and click the “Buy Now” link under the Spring 2012 picture at the top.
I present, once more, the Gabe.
Of course, I will provide you with a whole pile of photos of Gabe, but I would like to start off with a photo from the recent visit of two unsavory characters, my uncles, John and Dick. The lighting was pretty bad, but I got a photo that pretty much summed up the visit.
Gabe couldn’t believe those guys.
Things around here are pretty good. It’s February in Southern California – planting season! Abigail and I planted some veggies. We’ll see how that goes. Gabe is expanding rapidly in all directions and seems to really enjoy the adoration of the masses.
See? He totally absorbed your adulation over the internet.
Of course, Gabe does his own share of adoring others. In particular, his sister.
And while he likes Uncle Sean, he’s also a little bored by him.
Actually, Gabe expresses his boredom more vociferously. That photo represents a triumph of baby-putting-to-sleep by Sean.
Gabe says he’s had enough of photos. We’ll have to do this photo-posting thing again some time.
One partially goes to routine appointments to find out if one actually has needs above and beyond the routine. And so it was for Abigail.
We took her to the dentist a couple weeks ago, expecting a quick cleaning and flouriding and then we’d be on our merry way. The dentist noticed a problem in one of her front teeth. The problem was that it was no longer alive and kicking, probably as a result of a fall, a bump or another sort of tooth bashing encounter. It had developed an abscess.
Eager to overcome this difficulty, we asked what we could do to alleviate the infection. So as not to alarm the three year old in the chair, the dentist mimed putting her hand over her own incisor and yanking down, making a click noise as she did so.
The tooth had to come out.
This course of action had no occurred to me at the time. It took me the next week, when we were giving her antibiotics to minimize the infection before the procedure, to come to terms with this. I looked for ways out of the procedure, alternatives. But there weren’t any. We didn’t want the infection to spread. The tooth had to go.
And so it did. I give you the new, the improved, the less infected, Abigail Gorman. Now with 5% more gaps!
She handled the procedure as a model patient and within a few hours she was her own self, very pleased with the new space in her mouth. She got to show it off as school and, being such an enthusiastic smiler, any she displays it every time we take a picture. All in all, she came through it better than I did.
It helped that the tooth fairy was extremely generous.
On what makes this toy special: “This pony is not for pooping on.”
On why she thought the apparently docile cat was about to attack: “He had his face on! His mad face on!”
On who that present is for: “That’s for that Gabester right there, right?”
On why she doesn’t want to play with magnets: “I know, but I really don’t discover you with that.”
On reasons for speed in driving: “Hurry up! We got a crying baby!”
On the real name of the “step-in-time” scene in Mary Poppins: “Step-in-claw.”
On translating Dad’s thoughts on streaming HD: “It’s never going to match the quality, boys. Settle down your brains.”
On playing with Thomas in her clothes drawers: “So many undies for a train.”
On the existential nature of home improvement stores: “Home Depot has no fruit.”
On things she must pick up at school: “You’re killing me, Smalls!”