Blogging the Parliament (reverse temporal)

6:05 pm – The power just went out at last. I can smell the fires from downtown already, the wind blowing it in through the shattered remains of the front door. Alex shattered it when he finally succumbed to madness and ran out into the night, screaming for mercy from whatever demons now torment his mind from the inside. I sit in the darkness, staring at the now blank screen of the television, still haunted by the images from the English countryside, by the plague unleashed by the Time Dinos, in their mad, headlong rush toward power at any cost.

5:45 pm – I’m not sure what happened. Apparently I’ve been out for a while. I just don’t know. I woke up to blinding light. Tears streaming down my face, I leapt to my feet, trying to blink away my blindness. I can hear Alex upstairs. It sounds like he’s throwing furniture out the window, but I can’t be sure. On the television, I can see the massive explosions blossoming in Scotland. I assume that’s the source of the light. Or it could be the time vortex, maybe it’s starting to break my mind as well. Maybe it will bring us all down in the end. The image on the screen is already starting to flicker.

5:04 pm – It’s starting to feel like the vortex is staring to have an effect, just like the television commentator’s behavior seemed to suggest. Alex has been making grunting noises and keeps pounding on his chest in an exaggerated, some might say, gorilla-like fashion. Perhaps we were wrong about the Time Dino strategy. Maybe they aren’t looking to win Parliament at all. Maybe they want to destroy the entirety of mammalian society.

4:46 pm – The BBC commentator just took out the Liberal Democrat commentator with a wicked haymaker and seems to be … well, it’s unclear what he’s doing back there with the Conservative commentator, but it sounds like a good time all around. The Time Vortex keeps getting bigger. They’ll have this worked out, right? I mean, they’re British.

4:22 pm – Apparently the glowing orb is actually a time vortex! The experts are saying that when humans stand in close proximity to something like that would drive them insane. I’m not sure how they would know something like that. They’re saying that the effect will start in England, but will spread quickly to the rest of the world. These things really do always start in England.

4:05 pm – It does seem like the original exit polls are holding. The Time Dinos just won’t win many seats in this election. In fact, I don’t think they’ll win any. And if they do, it’s unclear what effect the Sunderland rampage would have on the legality of their party. They’re speculating now that if the polls had been held open in Sheffield than that might have helped the Time Dinos, radically changing the mood in their camp. I’m also wondering if the angry dino demographic will limit themselves to physical violence or if they’ll resort to some of their time based powers. In totally separate news, the BBC is reporting some strange behavior is central London, near that strange glowing orb. Apparently people seem to be going crazy. Could it be excited conservatives? Despondent labour fans?

3:52 pm – The BBC is reporting a strange glowing orb in downtown London. There’s not much more info than that yet, but it sounds like the glowing area is vaguely dinosaur shaped.

3:42 pm – The Conservatives just barely beat out the Time Dinos for Sunderland Central. I was a little worried that this one might be a difficult one, since the Time Dino here is a huge Tyrannosaur. Still, the vote count is in and he’s done little more than offer a growl. They’re just finalizing the winner and … Oh my god! The Tyrannosaur just chomped the newly elected conservative MP! After throwing what was left of him into the crowd he’s going after the rest of the podium. It looks like pandemonium in Sunderland. This isn’t going to be good for the Reptilian Rights movement.

3:28 pm – Labour holds Washington and we get our first carnivore of the night. Admittedly, it’s just a little raptor who stands near the podium. He picked up a few more votes – 186 in this case – but the only indication of his mood is a quick twitching of his tail and a clacking of his claws. I think he might see a mouse in the audience somewhere.

2:54 pm – It looks like it a might be a quiet night. As the results come in for Houghton and Sunderland South and Labour holds the seat comfortably, the Time Dinos don’t seem to be causing much trouble. The Stegasaur at the end of the platform simply hangs his head and lets out a long stuttering moan when it hears its count of 45 votes. But he’s an omnivore, spiky tail notwithstanding. We’ll have to see what happens when we get to seat with a hungry meat eater.

2:15 pm – I’m just getting here, a little late. It looks like the polls show that the Conservatives are going to win the day, if not the majority if Parliament. Oddly, it shows the Liberal Democrats losing a few seats. Maybe that’s the effect of the Time Dinos, who have been lumped in with the “Other” category, at least on the BBC. ITV seems to have a few interesting Dino themed graphics, but they still don’t seemed overly concerned. I’m wondering if the swing away from the Lib Dems is due to urban hipsters thinking a dinosaur MP is just cool.

(For slightly more accurate liveblogging …)

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One Response to Blogging the Parliament (reverse temporal)

  1. Jessica says:

    Damn it! The Time Dinos should have TAKEN that seat.

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