We’re talking about getting our house painted. Actually, are you allowed to say “talking about” if you’ve put down a deposit? Probably not.

So, we’re going to get our house painted. Deep in the summertime, because we hate people who do physical labor. Jessica decided to get a paint catalog and went with Frazee because, you know, they have good paint. I suppose, they do anyway. I’ve seen ads.

We picked a few colors we liked, but I noticed something odd. Whoever named these paints either a) had a thing for race horses; b) received a memo that read, “Send horse paint names” instead of “Send house paint names”; or c) does a lot of work near the track and absorbs things through some sort of name osmosis. Nomenmosis?

Anyway, here are a few examples of the paint names. You’ll be surprised at how well they work, both as horse names and as a perfect description of the color itself.

Well-Appointed
Spontaneity
Adaptable
The Good Life
Effortless
Attention to Detail
Air of Distinction
Vivacious
Burnished Sage

Okay, that last one is pushing it, but you get the idea. And do you see how immediately think of a kind of navy blue when you hear “The Good Life”? No? I told you that you’d be surprised how well they work.

In completely unrelated news, my Outlook calendar informed me today that I was 21,326 weeks overdue for a haircut appointment. This is about 410 years. Apparently I made this appointment in 1600. This may be a sign that my computer is totally messed up, but it is also completely awesome.