On birth: “Ah, ah, ah. Another baby popped out of my belly.”

On what she’s just made out of her bathwater: “It has liquid mice in it and it’s called … Jell-O.”

On whether I can have a hug: “You absolutely can!”

On Momma’s plan: “That was SO clever what Momma did.”

On appearances, now that Daddy has covered his face with shaving cream: “Now you look like a queen and I look like a hard boiled egg!”

On why girls don’t shave their faces: “Because girls only have a little bit of fur on their faces.”

On my Lactaid milk and its relationship to the human life cycle: “Maybe when I turn into a boy, I can drink that milk, too.”

On her doll: “She’s a little bit feisty.”

On why she’s hacking at Strawberry Shortcake with a comb: “I’m cooking some strawberries.”

On why her bottom is sore: “Cause that means my eyes are a little nervous right now.”

On proper eye protection: “Can you close your eyes, Mommy? So you don’t get poop in your eyes.”

On the song, Jammin’: “Daddy, this is a song for girl’s to sing.”