The Quotable Abigail, Part 44

On why she needs the radio off in the car: “Because I’m just trying to think about ponies, and I want no distraction.”

On her pre-use bowl check: “Just looking to see what excitement is in the toilet.”

On the phlebotomist: “He’s the little crazy blood taker!”

On how strong Daddy is, relative to others: “Not like those old ladies. You could spin and toss them around.”

On her stuffed dog: “He’s always kind and gentrous. And ossidy. And French.”

On how what she likes about a friend’s birthday invitation: “Everything is Strawberry Shortcake-ed.”

On her sickness plans for the bathroom: “Then the throwing up after the pee.”

On what she wanted after shouting across the house for Daddy: “Just testing.”

On caring for animals: “I like animals. I never ever kill them.”

On special cases: “Except fish.”

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