On dealing with the late-evening Halloween slowdown by shouting out the front door: “Every trick-or-treater! Come to [our address]! We have lots of candy for you!”

On insect husbandry: “Every time I cut my hair, I could collect the little pieces and make a lice nest.”

On Dad walking in for the end of what sounded like a long, detailed explanation: “…that’s a life cycle or it goes to the store.”

On “Du Hast” by Rammstein: “This is a good dance song.”

On Kraft singles: “American crash cheese.”

On the sort of thing Dad gets yelled at for these days: “You made me bit my lip because you whispered while I was chewing!”

On things to say while gesturing at your outfit: “I’m sorry but… too fancy to run.”

On why she likes being sad: “Because when I’m done crying I can lick my tears.”

On why the Grinch should have taken the children, rather than the toys: “That would have been a more evil plan.”

On yuletide worries: “I don’t think we’re on the good list, though.”