Here’s was my submission to the family newsletter this last time.
Transcript of the Gorman Family Council, July, 2010
Speaker Momma: I move to end debate and bring Family Resolution 17, the Time to Leave the Park Act, up for a vote.
Representative Abigail: I would respectfully submit that we have had insufficient time to truly explore the option to run around on the grass. I feel we owe it to the entire Gorman family to remain at the park until such time that the grass has been thoroughly run upon.
Majority Whip Daddy: We have been all over this field today. I feel that continued running is unlikely to yield any additional benefits.
Representative Abigail: Given that naptime is still more than an hour away, I consider it premature to end debate at this time. I’m only afraid that unnecessary haste will lead to a poorly thought out bill.
Speaker Momma: I call for a vote. All in favor of ending debate on FR 17? I count 2 ayes. All opposed? (Gavel) The vote passes. The bill will move forward to a full vote.
Representative Abigail: I would like to add a one-more-time-on-the-slide amendment to the bill.
Speaker Momma: Does anyone second that vote? The motion fails.
Representative Abigail: I respectfully indicate that I am now rolling in the grass and plan to continue doing so for an indeterminate amount of time.
Speaker Momma: Let the record show that Representative Abigail is rolling in the grass.
Majority Whip Daddy: I would move to have the honorable representative from Vista picked up and carried.
Representative Abigail: I wish to drop the rolling portion of my previous statement and begin walking at an extremely slow pace toward the car.
Speaker Momma: Let the record show that Representative Abigail is walking toward the car, albeit with frequent stops to examine rocks and bushes.
Majority Whip Daddy: As I am personally carrying most of the heavy things, I would like to reiterate my earlier statement vis-a-vis the picking up of Representative Abigail.
Speaker Momma: I move toward picking up Representative Abigail.
Representative Abigail: I would like it added to the record that I am now running in the opposite direction.
Speaker Momma: Let the record show that Representative Abigail is now running in the opposite direction of the car. Let the record also show that Speaker Momma is pursuing.
Majority Whip Daddy: I regret that we’ve let our differences grow so intractable that we have to subject the entire Gorman Family to these delay tactics and political theater, especially with a bill as important as FR 17.
Speaker Momma: Let the record show that I am now carrying Representative Abigail. I would like to call for a vote on FR 17. All in favor?
Majority Whip Daddy: Aye.
Representative Abigail: In the interests of family solidarity and because now that I’m off my feet I have realized that I actually am pretty tired, I also vote Aye.
Speaker Momma: The Speaker votes Aye. FR 17 passes unanimously.
Point of ORDER!
YOU are a frickin’ genius.
Well … thanks!