Nonsensicles

On pretending to be a dog, the linguistic challenges of: “Dogs don’t understand Spanish.”

On her milk: “Leche! I mean, ruff, ruff.”

On what she’s making: “Stick weapon and yarn.”

On why it’s okay that she’s singing a song about poop: “It’s for Gabe.”

On carrying a stuffed shark and a shopping bag containing three books and a maraca: “What a jolly load I have here!”

On the prospect of one day visiting Ireland: “Will we have to wear green?”

On how unexpectedly exciting the walk in our local park is going to be: “There’s dinosaur eggs, but first we have to go through the HYENA HOUSE!”

On Grandma Pat’s soap: “Look! It has a hole in it, just like the Death Star.”

On the story she’s “reading” to Gabe from a large book: “And on the next day, he got a surprise in the toilet!”

On the sights Daddy is pointing out at Fisherman’s Wharf: “No, that’s not cool.”

On why Gabe’s hair sticks up in the back: “It’s because he was born with a hammerhead.”

On being told she needs to help me clean up her craft project: “You’re making me think of the days when I was sad!”

On the effect of repeatedly saying her friend Elise’s name: “That name seems odd, doesn’t it?”

On watching a cat video to the tune of Smashmouth’s “Rock star”: “Did you hear that? He said, ‘get the show on!'”

On why Henry buries his pee in cat litter: “Probably because he knows that he’s handsome.”

On what life would be like without Daddy: “Then we’d have to jolly around this house by ourselves.”

On giving Gabe a role in their game: “You wanna be Fairy Mary?”

On comparing her bed to Gabe’s crib: “My bed is so un-bar-y.”

On the “I live downstream” sign on the sewer: “That’s where ducks are? I wish one came out and joined us.”

On “reading” the text of our Petco receipt: “‘Of course the coyotes aren’t allowed at the zoo because they poop up the whole place.’ What the heck?”

On the nature of things:  “The poop is more patient than the pee.”

On pinching Daddy’s neck, which correlates poorly with my experience of graham crackers: “It feels like graham crackers, doesn’t it?”

On talking to Gabe: “When he was in the tummy, he was a great listener to me.”

On the secret she needs to whisper to Grandma Pat: “Call my dad, ‘banana pants.'”

On leaping wildly in front of the mirror and four year old views on efficiency: “I was just jumping my shirt down.”

On the preparations for taking a walk: “Everything’s in order.”

On why her brother is suddenly lying in the grass: “I was just helping him down.”

On misusing the word “often” in regard to a particular song: “My teacher doesn’t awfully sing that.”

On what’s on offer at her tea party: “A nice spotch of tea.”

On explaining our roles to Mom: “Gabriel is Captain Hook and I’m the crocodile and Daddy is busy.”

On being told to go to sleep: “I am already asleep.”

On her parents hugging: “I want you two to spread apart.”

On getting a pair of socks for Gabe: “I’ll check in the sock house to see who might be available.”

On what that drawing of a clear, unlabeled bottle represents: “Wine.”

On why she is grabbing my stomach and jiggling fiercely: “Just doing the dancing belly.”

On other animals that have wings, besides ducks: “Ponies.”

On the clear, detailed instructions she just received regarding the location on her snack: “Where’s my snack?”

On how she’s growing up in a very different world than I did: “I didn’t know what Starbucks you were talking about.”

On I have no idea what, Maggie-related: “These are her clothes for the passionfruit!”

On how to tell Gave she no longer needed his “assistance” with her puzzle: “Thank you. You’re such a big help.”