Tricky

My story “Tricky” has been published by Stupefying Stories. Not only am I thrilled to have another story out in the wild, I am ecstatic that I have been published by a publication with a name as awesome as “Stupefying Stories.”

You can go here and read it right now. It’s a fantasy story, with a more humorous bent than some of my more recent publications. Although, I’m not sure “recent” is the right word to use. It has been almost a year since “Die for You” appeared in the in-boxes of Daily Science Fiction subscribers.

Over the past twelve months, I have crafted and submitted a number of new stories, but most of my writing effort has been focused on a novel. That manuscript is currently being dissected by a number of friends and colleagues, but while you wait for a finished version, I will direct your attention back to “Tricky.”

I wrote the first draft of this story back in 2011 and it’s gone through wholesale changes since then. Give it a read, and let me know what you think.

In case I haven’t linked to it enough, or you’re just too lazy to scroll back up the page, here again is a link to “Tricky.”

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The Quotable Abigail, Part 64

On having the overarching idea of the Lord of the Rings explained to her: “Bag-gins! Bag-gins! Bag-gins!”

On apparent compliments: “Daddy, you’re big and fat already.”

On being told that she’d spelled “Solvang” incorrectly: “That’s okay. I’ll just write it my language.”

On giving Gabe a valuable shorthand: “Freeways don’t have patios and if you see a patio that’s a sign you’re not on the freeway.”

On Mythbusters: “Me and Gabe always try it at home.”

On her Mom’s hat: “You look like an old lady marching down the road.”

On why she needs absolute silence: “I’m singing something in my mind.”

On lines I hope she never tries on a cop: “We won’t steal everything.”

On the aftermath of urging her little brother to greater speed on his tricycle: “Maybe fast isn’t really a good idea.”

On initially quite startling dinnertime announcements: “FLOCK! … of birdies.”

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The Quotable Gabe, Part 14

On things to say to your sister: “Are you my conscience?”

On things to say to the road: “Are you my conscience, road?”

On things to shout after slamming your open palms into a random store front: “My conscience!”

On spilling a bowl of pretzels: “That was my fault. I’ll pick them all up.”

On five year plans: “I want to be an egg.”

On Daddy liking him just the way he is: “Mommy doesn’t. She likes me to be an egg.”

On spontaneous announcements, more than a month after the headwear in question was saved from a watery grave: “Klint just jumps in the water to rescue your hat.”

On standing in the middle of the kitchen with a butterfly net on his head: “Pull me, Abigail, pull me! Pull me to safety!”

On why he’s styling me with his Elmo comb: “So your hair can be nice and gray.”

On deli cheese: “Does baby swiss have babies in it?”

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The Quotable Abigail, Part 63

On singing along with the radio from the back seat: “I was walking with a ghost. I say, hey, ghosts don’t exist.”

On splashing in her bath: “That was embarrassingly fun!”

On still remembering having her blood drawn, years earlier: “Getting your blood out, that place is really, really not good.”

On what Gabe’s behavior means for when we get home: “Consequences or picnic?”

On dad’s role in what has been declared a kids-only zone: “You can be our chair if you want to stay.”

On dramatic announcements: “Gabriel and dad, did you know I’ve been writing all about you? Writing what you’ve done wrong!”

On morning greetings: “You look good enough to mix in with my cereal!”

On health risks: “I’m actually allergic to a drink of water in my nose.”

On performance notes for Gabe as he and his sister play family: “Sometimes daddies are really mean.”

On Batman, actually reasonable descriptions of: “He’s the bad guy hero of all bad guys!”

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The Quotable Gabe, Part 13

On dubious games: “Can I cut you for two more minutes?”

On our refrigerator, apparently carbonite: “Open this up and let me show you Han Solo.”

On the reason he’s standing next to me on a step stool: “I’m gonna go fix you a little bit with my hammer. I’ll be careful.”

On the good old days: “When I used to drink coffee when I was a grown up.”

On why he can’t eat more than a bite of his yogurt: “It’s too tasty.”

On musings from the back seat, issued after a long pause and without preamble: “Dinosaurs eat up kids sometimes.”

On diabolical plans: “I’m gonna go make the sky brown with sand.”

On artistic plans: “I’m gonna go paint all the colors Abigail loves.”

On a few of his favorite things: “I love going on airplanes, going to the park and eating some fruit.”

On Abigail riding a horse: “And then I will ride the chicken!”

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Masters of the Short Range Frisbee

A while back I mentioned that Abigail has been taking a lot of video with her new camera, and I’ve been wanting to compile it into a movie I can share on my blog.

However, instead of trying to tackle the hours of footage she’s built up, I decided to just make this silly film from video she took of my and my brother, Andy, playing Frisbee while we were camping in Big Sur last week.

I’ll go through the rest of the video at some point, too. I swear.

For now, enjoy Masters of the Short Range Frisbee.

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The Quotable Abigail: Part 62

On her desire to spend more time with her grandparents: “I want to see them until they’re dead.”

On collecting her fallen pencil and thus ending a mini-tantrum: “That’s not the only thing I’m crisising about.”

On where her school is, using her Southern Californian navigation system: “It’s right on the other side of the closest freeway.”

On Atlas by Battles: “I think that song is Spanish planets. The solar system in Spanish.”

On her new balloon wand, particularly its power over balloon animals: “Gabe, ready for me to curse your giraffe?”

On her accrued bounty from doing chores: “Dad, I have eight dollars! And one credit card.”

On earnest conversations with Maggie: “If you want, I could make you dog shoes.”

On dad’s mistake: “That’s not a tone of voice! That’s a whiny voice!”

On soccer allegiance: “Are you floating for blue or red to win?”

On dealing with imminent avian threats: “We’re making a bird distracter.”

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The Quotable Gabe, Part 12

On my hat, apparently: “You’re Superman, Daddy! You’re a golf ball guy!”

On the “Golden Wrench Auto” sign: “That says, ‘how do you bang the cars?'”

On what he’s doing to the bed sheets: “I’m gonna tuck you out.”

On the reason he needs to fill the laundry basket with books: “So I can rescue the books for the mailman.”

On Disneyland: “It was raining in the dark with animals.”

On the meaning of this cryptic description of Disneyland: “For me, it was happy. I’m happy.”

On Beethoven’s Ninth: “This song might get the cars out of the way next to you.”

On time-wasting conditions that are hard to refuse: “No, first I have to give you lots of hugs.”

On Abigail’s unicorn: “I want the gingacorn! The gingacooorn!”

On the risks of combining snacks and stuffed tigers: “I’ll be careful not to spill yogurt on him. Not too careful. Just a little but careful.”

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Abigail’s Even Bigger Girl Camera

On the occasion of Abigail’s sixth birthday, her grandmother gave her a real, fully functional point and shoot camera. Since then, she has done quite a bit of pointing and shooting. Every now and then, I go through her camera and find out what she’s been documenting. What follows is an annotated gallery of some of her best shots.

First of all, there are the standard pictures, featuring things like her dad:

And what her dad is watching:

And where she puts her feet while her dad is driving:

And lunch:

And, of course, her brother:

But the most common use Abigail has found for her new camera is documenting her pony collection. Extensively.

Which is fortunate, because it led to DARK PONY PICTURE DAY!

She clearly tried to lighten the mood by finishing it off with a sassy, over the shoulder pose:

But seriously, those are some ominous ponies.

Not all the pony pictures were dark, of course. She tried different styles, angles and backdrops, some more successful than others.

In some cases, her closeups were so extreme that even the ponies seemed to disapprove:

But for the most part, the ponies seemed to enjoy the photo shoots as much as Abigail did:

But as Abigail proved on DARK PONY PICTURE DAY, ponies are malevolent creatures at their core, so even she couldn’t keep the darkness entirely at bay.

Sassy!

This is but a small selection of the many pictures she’s taken, but what’s really eating up our hard drive space is the fact that her new camera makes it easy to take movies. So much video. Once I’m done going through the hours – yes, hours – of video, I will subjected you all to… I mean, you’ll get to watch some of that.

 

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Duet

I’m frequently ordered, usually by Abigail, to take video or pictures of her and/or her brother doing something. This is one of those occasions.

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